Call Your Sponsor Before You Drink

In the North Atlanta area, where I lived for more than thirty years, many AA groups hand out a shiny aluminum beginner’s chip. On the back it reads: “Call your sponsor before—not after—you take the first drink.”

That is wise advice. Yet, judging by the number of chips handed to people coming back, I sometimes wonder how many ever read the message—or even have a sponsor to call.

You don’t have to relapse to prove you are an alcoholic. Over the years, AA has taught me that recovery is not a do-it-yourself project. Simply attending meetings is not the same as working a program. Recovery means committing ourselves to the Twelve Steps and practicing them honestly, even when they make us uncomfortable. And if we are honest, most of us know exactly which steps those are.

Sobriety is not about working only on the easy and comfortable parts of the program. That is the fantasy of the alcoholic mind. We are people who have spent years avoiding pain, resisting reality, and chasing relief. If alcoholics could design “happy hour,” it would last twenty-four hours a day.

My own experience with relapse taught me something painful but important: no relapse is truly spontaneous. Looking back, every drunk was planned long before the first drink was poured. The decision began in my thinking—in isolation, rationalization, and drifting away from the things that kept me sober. By the grace of God, I made it back to AA long enough to learn that lesson. I have no desire to play Russian roulette with my life just to see whether “this time” might somehow be different.

Relapse is not a harmless detour. The consequences may vary from person to person, but the direction is tragically predictable. Some lose jobs, some lose families, some lose hope—and far too many never make it back to the rooms at all.

At the same time, I have watched many friends in AA endure terrible hardships in sobriety. They suffered losses, heartbreak, fear, depression, loneliness, and uncertainty. Yet they did the right things anyway. They went to meetings, called their sponsors, shared honestly, cried openly, and reached out for help. And through it all, they did not drink.

Those people are my heroes.

They showed me that recovery is worth fighting for and that life is worth living, even on the hard days. I have heard them speak in meetings, and I have watched others remember their words years later because those stories helped save their own lives. These men and women became my new family. They proved to me that I never have to pick up a drink again, even when my mind tells me there are no other choices left.

So yes—if my world falls apart today, I will still pick myself up and go to a meeting. And yes, I will call my sponsor before I call the liquor store.

“But for the grace of God, there go I.”