I Came to AA When I Was 21

Why I Came to AA

I came to AA when I was 21. There were no arrests, no DUIs, no judicial orders, and no intervention. There was simply mental anguish and pain. I came to AA because I was out of alternatives and was willing to honestly try it to see if it would work for me.

I didn’t know much about alcoholism, and I certainly didn’t understand the Twelve Steps. I wasn’t looking for a spiritual solution. In fact, I was a committed non-believer at the time.

I simply knew that the way I was living wasn’t working.

Today, more than 50 years later, I can say that AA worked for me. It continues to work for me, one day at a time. That doesn’t mean I have all the answers or that my life has been perfect. It means I found a way to live without needing alcohol to handle life.

Why I Believe AA Works

Over the years, I’ve watched people try many different ways to stop drinking. The best therapists, the best rehabs, medication, incarceration, family interventions, and even near-death experiences cannot make someone want to stop drinking.

For me, alcoholism was more than a drinking problem. It was a problem of the whole person.

Eventually, I had to become willing to surrender—to admit that alcohol had power over me and that my own way of handling the problem wasn’t working. I had to become willing to trust something greater than myself.

For some people, that Higher Power is God. For others, it may be the AA group, the fellowship, or simply a power greater than themselves that they are willing to trust. I didn’t understand any of that when I came through the doors. I learned it as I went along.

What mattered first was willingness.

The Disease Doesn’t Negotiate

Alcoholism can be difficult for both the alcoholic and the people who love them.

I understand why families want to protect someone they love. I also understand how easy it can be to make excuses, minimize the problem, or believe that one more conversation, one more promise, or one more attempt to control the situation will somehow make things different.

I’ve learned that alcoholism doesn’t respond well to control.

The alcoholic has to become willing to face the problem. Until that happens, the people around them can exhaust themselves trying to solve something they cannot solve for another person.

That doesn’t mean there is no hope. Quite the opposite.

I believe there is a solution, and I’ve experienced it myself.

Why I Write These Essays

That’s why I started writing about recovery and sharing my observations in these essays.

I am not a therapist, counselor, or addiction professional. I’m simply an alcoholic who walked into an AA meeting in 1976 at the age of 21 and, somehow, kept coming back.

More than 50 years later, I still have something to learn.

These essays are about what I have experienced, what I have learned, what has helped me, and some of the things I have observed along the way. They are not a prescription or a promise. What worked for me may not speak to everyone.

But if you are struggling with alcohol, wondering whether AA might work for you, or simply looking for another alcoholic’s experience, perhaps something here will be useful.

I’ve always believed that if even one essay reaches one person at the right moment, all the work is worthwhile.

That’s why I keep writing.

Jim C.