Time Takes Time
It was comforting to hear the slogan “Time takes time” at AA meetings. It reminded me that just because I stopped drinking, the rest of my life would not instantly fall into place. In early recovery, those words helped me practice patience when progress seemed slow, and change was not happening as quickly as I wanted. It was a simple reminder that recovery is an ongoing process, not a single event.
Learning That Sobriety Takes Time
In early recovery, I felt as though I was in a mad dash to complete the Twelve Steps, believing my life would quickly fall into place afterward. After all, I was only 21 years old and had not caused so much damage that it couldn’t be undone. At first glance, the Steps did not seem like too tall an order, although I believed many of them did not really apply to me. How long would it be before I could get on with a normal life and put this drinking problem behind me? It shouldn’t take long at all—or so I thought. Boy, was I mistaken. I was missing one major point: reality.
The reality of recovery for an alcoholic includes facing denial, impulsiveness, character defects, and shortcomings. Some of these may remain hidden for a while, but they don’t disappear just because we stop drinking. They are carryovers from my drinking days and my old ways of thinking. I mistakenly believed that since I was no longer drinking, alcohol was no longer a problem. I had a lot more to learn.
Learning Patience in Recovery
Looking back, I think I missed many of the lessons about how to live life on life’s terms. I lacked some of the basic fundamentals of recovery, and one of the greatest was patience. There were times when all I could do was step back and let things take their course because there was nothing else I could do.
Patience, at that point, meant developing maturity in my thinking and recognizing both my abilities and my limitations. The Serenity Prayer helped me tremendously by setting boundaries for my thinking and actions. It gave me peace of mind and reminded me that I was exactly where I needed to be, doing what I could at that moment in recovery. That was a far better place to be than my old self, demanding a drink while cursing this recovery business.
Recovery Is a Lifelong Process
I discovered that while sobriety begins on day one, it is not an endpoint. I was no longer drinking, but I was still learning how to live without alcohol. Putting down the drink was the beginning; learning to live a different way would take time.
For me, recovery in AA truly began when I developed a desire to stop drinking and became willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety and improve the quality of my new life. I did not want to be merely dry. That was a miserable existence, leaving me dissatisfied and demanding more from others and from life.
Sobriety requires work, and there is only so much that can be accomplished in a single day. That is one reason I appreciate the way the Twelve Steps are laid out. They follow a progressive path, with each Step offering opportunities to learn and grow. Even today, the Steps remain a work in progress rather than a one-time exercise. Living them has continually guided me toward a better way of life and a better version of myself.
It did not happen overnight, and today I am perfectly okay with that. Time takes time, and recovery continues one day at a time.