Suggestions in Early Sobriety

Sobriety was uncharted territory when I first arrived in AA at the age of 21. The many experiments I tried on my own to stop or control my drinking proved that point. My best thinking had gotten me there. As a newcomer in the 1970s, especially at my age, I received a great deal of attention, encouragement, and good advice. Looking back, many of those suggestions in early sobriety were the things that started to change the course of my life, and for that, I remain forever grateful.

At my first meeting in 1976, the shades behind the speaker’s podium displayed the Twelve Steps of Recovery and the Twelve Traditions. What caught my eye was the sign listing the Twelve Steps. Just beneath the title was a line that read, “As Suggested as a Program of Recovery.” Those words changed my life. There were no orders, no “thou shalt nots,” and no demands. Recovery was presented as a suggested path. I liked that.

One Day at a Time

On my first day in AA, the suggestion I latched onto was to try AA’s way of staying sober one day at a time. For me, this was a revelation. I could do almost anything for 24 hours.

But at 21 years old, the thought of never drinking again for the rest of my life was overwhelming. If I kept thinking that way, I’d probably be drunk within a day or two. One day at a time, however, seemed possible.

Ninety Meetings in Ninety Days

Another suggestion was to commit to attending AA meetings for 90 days, one day at a time. At first, I balked at the idea. It seemed excessive. But the more meetings I attended, the more I liked what I was hearing and learning. There were practical, common-sense solutions being shared that I could apply to my own recovery.

Stay Out of the Lion’s Den

Since I enjoyed playing guitar and singing in bars, one suggestion came with a warning: “If you’re not a lion tamer, don’t go into the lion’s den.”

In other words, stay out of the bars.

I bristled at that advice. I was young, dating, socializing, and didn’t want to feel restricted. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

If I were on a diet, it probably wouldn’t be wise to spend my days hanging around a doughnut shop. Likewise, if I had a gambling problem, spending time at the racetrack would hardly be a good idea.

The lesson was simple: avoid people, places, and things that might trigger the urge to drink.

Don’t Compare Your Story

Another suggestion that helped me was not to compare my alcoholism to someone else’s story. That can become an endless exercise.

It would have been easy for me to convince myself that I didn’t belong in AA because I had never been arrested, never received a DUI, or never been divorced five times. Yet in recovery, we all arrive with different drinking histories and different life experiences.

What unites us is that alcohol has become a problem.

I could identify with the powerlessness, the chaos, the depression, and the overall calamity that came from taking that first drink.

This was especially important for me because AA in the 1970s was not filled with twenty-year-olds. It would have been easy to focus on the differences and conclude that I didn’t belong.

Instead, I learned to identify with the similarities. That identification helped break my isolation and drew me closer to others in the fellowship.

Getting a Sponsor

Getting a sponsor was probably the most beneficial suggestion I received. Sponsors can cover a lot of ground in recovery, and for me, that guidance was invaluable.

I met with my sponsor daily, and I still credit much of his advice for helping me stay sober to this day. It was suggested that men sponsor men and women sponsor women, which always seemed like a wise idea.

Over coffee after meetings, my sponsor would review topics that had been discussed, help me work through the Twelve Steps, and share his own experiences—what had worked for him and what had not.

I found those conversations incredibly helpful.

He also suggested that I avoid substituting non-alcoholic beverages for alcohol. As he explained, he never drank for the taste; he drank for the effect. He cautioned me against replacing alcohol with marijuana or other drugs and emphasized that recovery in AA is built upon rigorous self-honesty.

Looking back, many of the most valuable lessons and suggestions I received came from my AA sponsors over the years.

Other Suggestions That Helped Me

Other suggestions that aided my recovery included getting active in the fellowship, finding a home group, attending meetings regularly, working the Steps, and reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

These and many other suggestions helped me build a comfortable and lasting sobriety.

Even today, I continue to attend in-person meetings to learn. I still hear new ideas and suggestions that improve the quality of my life and, in turn, benefit those around me.

Suggestions, Not Restrictions

What I discovered is that the suggestions offered in AA were never intended to restrict my life. They were offered to help me live it more fully.

For me, following those suggestions opened the door to a life that is happy, joyous, and free—and for that, I remain forever grateful.