Telephone Therapy in AA
Meeting Lists and Telephone Numbers
When I was just starting out in AA and making meetings, there was a printed meeting list with all the local meetings. On the back was usually a blank page for phone numbers. Those pamphlets also had space to jot down notes. I found them priceless.
Phones and those lists of names became a very important part of my sobriety. For many of us, they were a literal lifeline. To this day, you can still find these meeting lists at many meetings, and they are often passed around so a newcomer can gather phone numbers and stay in touch with others.
The lists would typically have men’s numbers for men and women’s numbers for women. It is good to know that some things in AA do not change.
Regular contact with sponsors, sponsees, and others in the fellowship has always been an important part of recovery for me. Isolation can be dangerous territory. Looking back, many of the times I struggled the most were when I became disconnected from other alcoholics.
Staying Connected Without Today’s Technology
Back when I first got sober, I had much more contact with sponsors and other members through the telephone. There was no internet, and cell phones and answering machines were not yet in common use during the 1970s. Pagers did not even exist.
Usually, you needed a phone at home or a few dimes in your pocket, and you had to be lucky enough to find an empty phone booth that was actually working.
In retrospect, I probably had more direct contact with sponsors, mentors, and other members of the fellowship than I do today. Conversations could be about anything—sobriety, life, advice, or simply what meeting we planned to attend that evening.
I carried those meeting lists and phone numbers everywhere. They were my connection to sobriety. I never left home without one, and I always had a pen handy to add new names and numbers.
What I find interesting today is that nearly everyone carries a cellphone. Most have maps, voicemail, internet access, contact lists, and text messaging. If I am driving, I can simply say, “Hey Google, call my sponsor Joe,” and the phone does the rest. A map can even guide me directly to a meeting.
Yet I sometimes wonder why so many people seem reluctant to use these tools to stay connected. Staying in touch is certainly easier than it was years ago. My contact list is full of fellowship numbers, and I still reach out often.
Many people ask for my number, but few ever call. When I have talked with other members about this, I have found that I am not alone in that experience.
One Alcoholic Reaching Out to Another
That is unfortunate, because a simple phone call has helped me more times than I can count. Sometimes it has saved my sanity, sometimes it has changed my outlook, and sometimes it has simply reminded me that I am not alone.
When people return to AA after drinking again, I sometimes find myself wondering whether they reached out before they picked up that first drink. Did they call their sponsor? Did they talk to another alcoholic? Did they join an online meeting? Did they look up a meeting nearby?
I know there were many times when I did not have a dime in my pocket to make a call from a pay phone, or when nobody answered the phone when I called. Even then, I usually found a way to get to a meeting and talk with someone.
I wanted what sobriety offered, and I learned that staying connected was a big part of keeping it.
The old-timers used to call it “telephone therapy.” The technology has changed dramatically since then, but the principle and priorities remain the same. One alcoholic reaching out to another is still one of the most valuable tools we have.